The Titanic is finally relieved of its indelible black mark in history. We all know the tragic oceanic tale... amazing new designs by the most brilliant of that era. Then, there was the iceberg incident. How many passengers would later wish that they had taken the next boat?
The Stimulus, The Bailout, The Homeowner Rescue, The Fannie & Freddie Free fall, The Wall Street Woes... All are deemed Too Big To Fail.
(By the way, The Titanic was too great of a ship to sink.)
So, let's see How Would Our Government Go Back And Rescue The Titanic?
The answer must be to provide more lifeboats and life preservers. Hey, that's a great idea. We can rescue more people that way.
How will we pay for all of this?
Well, how about we charge everyone for the access to lifeboats and life preservers? They will pay it because they are desperate. OK, yeah... great plan.
Should we actually fix the ship?
No way! Shhh... we are not going to admit that the brightest minds made a mistake with the initial plans. That would ruin everything. Then, no one would want to ride the boat!
How will we continue to afford future tragedy prevention on The Titanic?
We will convince those that are not yet passengers to pay a fee because it's the right thing to do in order to save everyone that might become passengers. Ah- HA! Another brilliant idea!
We will continue to talk about the tragedy, and warn against the threat of another major iceberg to make a Great Impression.
Next, we need to work on our plan for rescuing other luxury liners that have been negatively affected by this downturn.
What downturn?
Not sure yet. Whatever it is, you can bet that we will make rich people pay a higher tax. And, by rich, I mean everyone else except us and our elite friends.
Friday, March 6, 2009
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